A list of reasons why you should watch what you say (when you work with lunatics)
The other day at work, I was in my cube working my butt off (as usual). Those that know me well know two things about me: I work hard and I never joke around. I have applied these two principals in my current work environment. While working on this day, I overheard a co-worker (who, by the way, is a grandmother that sits in the cube across mine) eating an, apparently, delicious orange. The reason why I say that I 'heard' her eating an orange is because she was extremely vocal about how good it tastes by exclaiming, "Mmmmmm, yummy!" Without prior thought, I shouted back, "Frannie, quit looking in my cube and making comments like that--it is sexual harrassment!" This was heard by everyone in my department who proceeded to call me Yum Yum all day long.
Wishing it to stop, I applied a principle that was once taught to me by my mom: The If-you-screw-up-on-a-haircut-then-go-to-school-and-pretend-that-it-is-cool-and-no-one-will-make-fun-of-you principle. (I believe this story is fairly well documented.) Well, that principle works fine in 9th grade but is a terrible tactic when you work with lunatics. Wishing it to stop, I went to the name badge desk and had them take a new name badge photo of me while I was holding up a sign that read "Yum Yum Bunker" in the general concept of a mug shot. My hope in applying mom's knowledge was that this teasing would cease when I pretended like it didn't even phase me. Mom, you never told be that this strategy would backfire when used against lunatics!
I left work that day and as soon as I shut the door, the entire recruitment team, lead by my manager, proceeded to make flyers and banners and signs with the Yum Yum Donut logo (there is a west coast donut shop called Yum Yum Donuts out here) and destroy my cube with the decorations. The VP of HR happened to roll by and catch them in the process. In a normal professional work environment, these actions would have been frowned upon and given a cease and desist notice--not the case when you work with lunatics. After she was done laughing histerically, she then directed Frannie to purchase Yum Yum Donuts for the entire HR department, put them near my cublicle and send an email to everyone to go get free donuts and Ben will give an explanation of why they are free.
Today, I have learned many things:
1. Everything that you learned in 9th grade is bullcrap.
2. No one has your back (my two assistants were ringleaders in the events).
3. It is impossible to tell the difference between friends and enemies until they show you which they are.
4. You cannot outwit a grandma (many more years of experience to draw from).
5. Never underestimate a lunatic.
